So many of my friends here on HRW were so helpful and kind when the ordeal with my father began in early June (ironically, June 6th, D-Day, our first sign that his brain was effected when he didn't know why the 6th of June was important), I thought it was appropriate for me to tell what has happened to date.
When I last checked in, I had them both (mother and father, both strokes during June), at home, with my mother, whose stroke was minimal, and very much recovered in P.Therapy, taking the 24 hours caretaker position, calling on me to come 2 or 3 times per day to do the muscle work and take care of diaper changes, etc.
Fast forward to today, Oct 3rd. He has had several nights in a row during which his brain has lost a step or two. My mother is showing signs of stress, not good for an 82 year old. I believe we are in the last days for my father, but to preserve my mother's health, I have to get her away for a while. Sounds bad, right? Nope, and here is the biggest reason to update everyone about this.
Because it was unlikely he would survive six months after the first episode, we could call in the local Hospice group. They have given us the diapers, changing pads, lots of support, meds, and even a bather who comes twice per week to shave and wash him for us. If I hadn't already bought him a hospital bed and wheelchair, they would have provided that, too. They were actually disappointed that they didn't need to bring them.
As if all that wasn't enough, They are going to come take him to a nursing facility for 5 nights, bringing him back on the morning of the 6th day, so my mother can get away and rest- me too. I'm near the Atlantic Coast, so I was able to find a place 2 hours away that we can go collapse for a few days and easily be back before he is due to be brought back. Next time somebody says that Hospice is looking after someone... well, now you know how much that means. Remember that when some jerk says he wants to snatch their funding or Medicare's. The best way I know to tell a bad guy crook in govt is to see if he wants to take money from Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, or Hospice. You just can't be a straight shooter and want that, no matter what.
This plan is going to save my mother's life. Being on call 24 hours a day has taken a toll on me, I can't imagine what it does to her, especially after a stroke. If the worst happens, and he dies while we are away looking after her, he won't know, and she won't be able to blame herself when she finds him gone one morning. I have been worrying about that for months.